Christmas is meant to be one of the most joyous times of the year, filled with festive music, beloved holiday films, family gatherings, and a chance to indulge in all your favourite treats without any guilt – what’s not to love?
However, for separated parents, the festive season is not always as cheerful.
The holidays can bring added stress and uncertainty, especially when it comes to arranging time with your children.
If you and your ex-partner have not yet agreed on how to share the holiday period, do not panic.
We are here to guide you through some practical steps to help you settle on the best arrangements, so you can enjoy the festive joy with your children this year.
Know your rights and responsibilities
Both parents have the same rights to see their children (as long as they have parental responsibility), but there is no automatic right to see them on special occasions like Christmas.
If you and your ex-partner have not already agreed on arrangements, it is important to discuss what is in your children’s best interests.
While a court order for contact is not mandatory, it can sometimes be necessary if you cannot agree amicably.
In most cases, one parent cannot stop the other from seeing the children unless there are concerns about their safety or well-being.
The court’s priority is the welfare of the children, so access could be restricted if there is a history of abuse or a risk to the child’s safety.
However, personal grievances, such as unpaid child maintenance or disagreements over lifestyle, are unlikely to be sufficient reasons for denying contact.
If you feel your ex-partner is unfairly preventing access, seek legal advice to explore your options.
Make your plans early
Ideally, you should start having conversations about Christmas plans well in advance to give both parents time to check their calendars and make compromises where necessary.
The earlier you agree, the easier it will be for your children to adjust to any changes in their normal routine, which can be especially important for neurodivergent children who rely on consistency and structure.
Some options to consider when arranging holiday plans include:
- Alternating Christmas Day and Boxing Day (or Christmas Eve)
- Splitting the holiday into blocks, perhaps each taking a week
- Sharing days equally, with half
- Switching every other year
- In cases where your relationship with your ex is still positive, you could consider spending the holidays together
There is no single answer that is going to work for all families because every family has different dynamics and traditions.
Whichever option works best for both parties (and the children), is the right one.
Prepare for plans to change
As you will be well aware, Christmas can be hectic. With travel plans, work and family commitments, it can be difficult to keep up.
Of course, sticking to a schedule is important, but allowing for flexibility in this schedule will be extremely helpful.
Sometimes unforeseen circumstances like work commitments or illness arise, and being willing to accommodate these changes will foster goodwill.
Consider your children’s wishes
Involving your children in the decision-making process (if they are old enough) is a great way to ensure they feel heard.
Their happiness and comfort should be your top priority.
Communication is key
As the saying goes communication is key.
While you are not legally required to get permission to take your children on holiday within England and Wales, keeping your ex-partner updated will help avoid misunderstandings.
However, if you are planning a trip abroad, written consent from your ex-partner is required.
What if you cannot agree?
If you and your ex-partner cannot agree on holiday arrangements, there are several options to help resolve the situation:
- Mediation – A neutral mediator can help facilitate conversations and find common ground.
- Solicitor negotiation – If direct communication does not work, you may want to seek legal advice. Family solicitors can negotiate on your behalf.
- Court application – As a last resort, you can apply for a Child Arrangements Order. This is a formal court order that determines when and how you will spend time with your children. Keep in mind that court proceedings can be time-consuming and expensive, and you will need to show that you have tried other methods to resolve the matter outside of court first, like mediation.
If you are struggling to reach an agreement, seek legal advice early on to protect both your rights and the well-being of your children.
For expert advice on child arrangements, contact our team today and ensure the festive season remains enjoyable for everyone.