Supporting someone you love who’s been diagnosed with dementia is hard. It can be confusing, exhausting, and at times, deeply upsetting. It’s not just the daily tasks like making meals, repeating conversations, or helping them find their way around the house, it’s the bigger stuff too. Suddenly, you’re wondering: Is their money safe? Do you need to move them into a care home or assisted living facility? What happens if they can’t make decisions for themselves anymore?
It’s a lot to take in, especially when you’re just trying to keep things steady from one day to the next.
That’s why our Wills and Probate team have prepared a few practical steps you can take now that will make things easier in the months and years ahead.
Be present and patient
The early signs of dementia can be subtle, maybe it’s a forgotten appointment, confusion with everyday tasks, or changes in mood. If someone close to you is showing these signs, or has already been given a dementia diagnosis, the best thing you can do at first is be there for them.
- Keep conversations simple and calm.
- Try not to contradict or correct them unnecessarily.
- Most importantly, please treat them with the same respect and kindness you gave them before the diagnosis.
Dementia is a relentless condition, and much of it is beyond our control. That’s all the more reason to take control of what we can. It’s all about making sure they still feel heard, valued, and safe.
Have honest conversations sooner rather than later
Many people delay talking about the future because it feels too uncomfortable, but the truth is, the earlier you have these conversations, the more say your loved one will have over their affairs.
If they still have mental capacity and are able to make decisions, now is the time to talk about:
- Lasting Powers of Attorney (LPA), so they can choose who they trust to make decisions about their health and finances on their behalf when they can no longer do so themselves.
- Their Will and funeral plans to make sure they reflect their current wishes.
- Medical preferences, including whether they want to make an Advance Decision about future treatment. For instance, they might want to make it clear that they don’t want to be resuscitated in certain situations, or they may wish to refuse life-sustaining treatment if their quality of life declines significantly.
These aren’t easy topics, but it is in everybody’s best interest to have these discussions to ensure clear arrangements and limit disputes.
Put legal protections in place
If your loved one still has mental capacity, helping them set up a Lasting Power of Attorney is one of the most important things you can do. Without one, no one, not even a spouse or child, has the automatic right to make decisions about money, care, or treatment.
Many families only find this out when it’s too late and have to apply to the Court of Protection, which can be expensive and time-consuming, so preparing these documents now can save stress and confusion down the line.
Get practical support early
Don’t wait until things reach a crisis point. There is plenty of support out there if you know where to look:
- Your GP can arrange a proper diagnosis and refer you to memory services.
- Social services can carry out a care needs assessment and suggest support at home.
- Charities like the Alzheimer’s Society and Age UK have excellent practical guides, helplines, and local groups.
- A solicitor can help you get the key legal documents in place, and they can also explain what those documents actually mean, guide you through difficult decisions, and make sure everything is done properly.
Support isn’t just for the person with dementia, it’s for you too. Looking after someone with dementia can be exhausting, especially as the condition progresses. It’s easy to feel guilty for needing a break, but it’s important to remind yourself that it’s not selfish, it’s necessary.
So, to avoid burnout, accept offers of help from friends or family, look into respite care, even if only for a day or two and talk to others who’ve been through it. There are also support groups and memory cafes where you can meet others experiencing similar situations and difficulties.
No one expects you to do this perfectly. Just showing up, asking questions, and doing your best is more than enough.
How Palmers Solicitors can help support you and your loved ones with dementia
At Palmers Solicitors, we work closely with families caring for someone with dementia. We take the time to explain your legal options clearly, without unnecessary complex terminology or pressure, and we can help you put proper protections in place, step by step.
We’re here to help you make calm, informed decisions at what we know can be a very difficult time for all parties involved.
If you’d like advice on setting up a Lasting Power of Attorney, making a Will, or understanding your responsibilities as an attorney, get in touch with our Wills and Probate team.