As a parent, the thought of your children growing up without you is something you’d rather never face.
However, unfortunately, it is the sad reality of thousands of children across the UK.
While we always hope we will be around to watch them live a long and happy life of their own, we still need to prepare for the alternative reality.
What happens if you don’t choose a guardian?
The law in England and Wales dictates that if you die before your children turn 18 and haven’t named a guardian, the family court chooses who will be responsible for them until they become an adult.
Although the court’s priority will always be your child’s welfare, that doesn’t mean the process will be fast.
Not knowing who they will end up living with can place added pressure on a child who is already coping with loss, as well as on those closest to them.
There is also the possibility that the person appointed may not be the individual or couple you would have chosen yourself.
Knowing exactly who you wouldn’t want raising your children can be just as strong a motivator to choose a guardian as knowing who you would.
Tips on selecting your child’s guardian
Deciding who would look after your child if you could no longer do so is never an easy choice, and it is certainly not one to make on a whim.
To help you make your decision, ask yourself:
Do they share a similar approach to parenting?
Think about values, routines, discipline and the kind of upbringing you would want for your child.
Are they emotionally and practically able to take on the responsibility?
Consider their age, health, family circumstances and whether they have the time and capacity to care for a child.
Do they already have a close relationship with your child?
Familiarity and trust can make an enormous difference during a transitional period. It can also help if they live locally, so the child can keep more of their usual routine, i.e., going to school and any after-school activities.
Would they be financially secure enough to cope?
While financial support can be arranged through your estate, it is still worth considering their overall circumstances to see if they can provide the lifestyle you would want for your child and ensure the responsibility doesn’t create an unmanageable financial drain for the chosen guardian.
Are they willing to take on the role?
It is always wise to have an open and honest conversation with the person you are considering. They may need to step away and think about what you are asking of them before agreeing or declining your request. It’s never a bad idea to have a backup option, either, just in case circumstances change.
Would they be able to maintain important family relationships?
As they say, it takes a village to raise a child. Think about whether your child would still be able to remain close to grandparents, siblings and other loved ones.
This support system becomes even more important if you’re no longer here. It also gives your children a way to hear stories about you and keep your memory close, even when you’re not there in person.
Taking the time to ask these questions now can help ensure your child will be cared for by someone you know and trust.
It doesn’t have to be a family member, but it must be someone over 18.
Need support putting your chosen guardian in writing?
If you would like to name a guardian in your Will, contact our Wills and Probate team.
We’ll make sure your wishes are properly recorded, reducing the risk of confusion or dispute